Pondering

I found myself pondering today.

I came to the realization that I have never had a best friend.

I have never had that one person I could call when I needed someone to talk to. I have never had a friend that even after not talking for weeks you talk like you talked yesterday.

Like you never missed a beat.

Kinda sad.

It is definitely not my fault though.

I think of myself as a kind person and a great listener.

I always invite fellow women and moms to do things with me.

On a very rare occasion has that been reciprocated.

Very sad.

Am I just not a friend magnet?

I have friends, many actually.

But not really anyone that would do anything for me.

Maybe I am just too kind.

Maybe I would bend over backwards for anyone.

Do people not like that?

Don't get me wrong my husband is my best friend.

I can tell him anything.

But sometimes I just want some girl talk.

A girl's night out that I enjoy.

Not a night that I feel like I have to be...not myself.

My mom tells me that it comes with age. That she didn't have a true best friend until she was older. But I have seen that many people have best friends.

Is it my lifestyle?

Am I just too poor?

Or too busy?

Am I too cheap?

Do those things matter?

Sometimes I feel like they do.

The minute I think that I can count on someone everything changes.

They stab me in the back.

It turns into a one way friendship like I am the only one that cares.

Kinda weird that my husband feels the same way.

We have never had couple's friends.

We don't have parties with the same people.

Heck we never even get invited to stuff.

We invite but once again it is not reciprocated.

Sometimes I really do wonder if we stink,

if we are strange,

or not funny.

I guess I just need to keep being me.

Maybe that perfect friend will come along.

My Best Friend.

Mr. Tegster and What's New

Tegan had his 3 year check up today. I can't believe how much he has grown in the last year. He is 39 inches tall which is in the 75%. He has always been in the 90% so he has slowed down a bit. But his weight was 31.8lbs which was in the 50%. What? This kid has never made it above 30% in weight. He is not a big eater so I was really surprised at this.
He is developmentally ahead on everything except talking. He should know 1000 words and a stranger should be able to understand 2/3 of what he is saying. I can't even understand that much. This has been really hard and causes lots of tantrums. He is very smart knows all of his colors and almost all his letters. He just doesn't want to take the time to talk or talk correctly. He told me that I should call the school district to see if they could evaluate him and see if he will need Speech Therapy. Oh how I hope that he can cause it is starting to get really frustrating.
The doc also noticed a little fluid in his ears. Nothing to be concerned about he just has a little cold. He then told me that he is very lucky that he has never had a ear infection. Over 90% of kids have at least 1 ear infection before the age of 3. Oh I am so happy about that!
I can't believe how big he is. I wish he would slow down a bit. I enjoy every minute with him. It might just be him for awhile so we get to spend a lot of time together which I love!

As some of you know David had an interview at work for a new position. We have been praying that he would get the job. And the day of his interview he was offered the position. We prayed trying to know what to do since the schedule is not ideal. He will be working 6am-6pm Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and every other Wednesday. Working Sundays is going to be really hard but he is hoping to be able to work something out so that he can go to church once a month. If another lead position (which is what he has) opens up with a better schedule he will have a better chance of getting it. So we are hoping that one will open up soon so he won't have to work Sundays forever. With this new position he will get paid $2 more. Oh how I love this news! We have decided that I will work until we pay off our car. Working has just gotten really hard. I hate not being home to make dinner. And it has caused a lot of stress just trying to arrange our schedules so that we have someone to watch Teg. I also think that it is the cause of me being so sick this winter. I have had to work many times while sick. No fun! Let's just hope that I don't get anything again. I am not a fan of bronchitis, I have had it 4 times this winter. Blah! I just hope that we can pay the car off sooner than later. Than I can put all my focus on Teg and trying to get prego. Working late hours has really put a tole on me and it doesn't help while trying to conceive.

Whoa....What a relief!

Haha not really.

I guess the relief would be that I don't feel guilty taking cold medicine and Advil.

But it really isn't relief.

Some women would feel relieved to not have a period for 2 months.

I just feel anxious.

2 months?!

Really?!

I took yet another HCG Quantitative test yesterday.

Which some may know it as a blood pregnancy test.

And for what it seems like the millionth time it was

NEGATIVE.

I am not surprised.

Really I am not.

It still hurts though.

I just wish my brain, mind and my body would join together

work together.

But yet again I am disappointed.

Somehow

Like I always do

I will pick myself up

And continue to go crazy

scheduling

Scheduling

I hate Scheduling!

On a different note

I am sick

very sick

I feel like I have the flu

but it is not the flu.

David is the same.

I am starving

but not starving enough to make myself

something to eat.

I want some cookies

but too sick to make them.

Like I have said on many occasions...

Story of my LIFE!

Who is turning 3?….

Tegan is turning 3.

I can’t believe it either. It seems like just yesterday that I was holding him as a little newborn in my arms. Kinda makes me sad.

But I have loved every minute I have had and will have with this boy. He is my little comedian. His smile and laugh is contagious. He is one smart kid even though he doesn’t talk much.

We have a fun day planned….

Build A Bear

Toys R’ Us

McDonald’s

and a fun night with our close friends eating pizza cake and ice cream.

And then Tegan will get to be spoiled while opening his gifts.

Then

Now

 

Happy Birthday my Lovey Bug!