5.19.2011

I am not broken.

{my friend told me about this blog. I pretty much copy and pasted it. This is so wonderful I may have leaked a little.}




Dear Naomi,

You are a good mom. You love your children.

Heavenly Father knew that you could handle this trial.
He CHOSE you.

It is hard.
You can do hard things.

Sometimes when you feel your blood boil, and you want to scream at the top of your lungs,
"IT'S NOT FAIR"
It's ok.
Because it's not fair.
Life is not fair.

And that is what makes it all so beautiful!

You are right, it would be far easier to have a body that works.
But yours does not.
And even though you are learning and growing so much because of it,
sometimes the pain feels like it might suffocate you.

But your infertility is not about you.
It is not an attack of your character.
It is not a punishment for something you have done.
It is not because you are incapable of being a great mother to many.

You are not broken on accident.
Heavenly Father did not skip over you because you were undeserving.
You were not forgotten.

Instead, He hand chose you out of the crowd, and precisely changed you to be the person you are. I believe he took you aside, put his arm around you, and with tears streaming down his very own face, knowing it will break your heart, asked if you if could carry this burden.
He promised you would never be alone. And he would bless you!
But, he would need to make you differently.
Not to break you.
But to create miracles for your eyes to see.
Every day.

You were not stripped of the most sacred act of multiplying and replenishing to your hearts content, because you were not worth it to be made whole.

You may feel broken, and forgotten, in your divine right of motherhood.
But you were made from scratch!
Everything you have been given, has been given by God.
"The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."



Cry until your soul hurts. Because it is hard.
But don't ever feel broken.

.

According to Wikipedia:
Infertility primarily refers to the biological inability of a person to contribute to conception.Infertility may also refer to the state of a woman who is unable to carry a pregnancy to full term

MYTH: Only families without children, suffer from infertility.

5.18.2011

Faith

I have faith. I am good with faith. But that doesn't mean that I struggle. I have the faith that My Heavenly Father loves me. I have faith that he loves my family. I have faith that his church is true. But through my own struggles my faith has wavered. I will never know in this life why my trials are my trials. I will never know why I wasn't given something else. I will never know why he chose me to have the trial of infertility. No one will ever know. Maybe that is why I struggle so much.

I feel like I have found a way. I have found some answers. They aren't really the easiest but it is a way. After some long 15 months I have an answer. Not exactly the answers that I wanted but again they are my trials.

I have become strong. I have become faithful. I have never relied on someone so much in my entire life. I have never asked so many questions in my life. Everything has always been so easy for me to understand until this.

I have spent our entire savings (which wasn't much) plus more in one month. Never did I expect that or want that to happen. But I have faith in my Heavenly Father that everything will work out.

I physically feel better more than I have in months. Mentally too. Those fertility drugs can be very evil. I hope to never have to take them again. For those that are and will have to I apologize. I feel your pain.

After a long time of struggling I am glad to say that I am happy. Has it been hard for me to get here? Yes. Will I still have rough times? Yes. But I have found light in the darkness.

Infertility is heart-wrenching. Faith questioning. Relationship testing. I am so glad that I know the truth. I am so glad that I know that my Heavenly Father has my best interest in mind. I am happy to know that Jesus Christ is my best friend, my brother, and that he is by my side through everything. As I cry myself to sleep after those hard days he is there to wipe my tears. He is there to tell me everything will be ok.

I have lost a few friends in this journey but have gained even more. Those who find my depression annoying aren't my real friends. I am glad to have some real ones in my life. I am glad that I found those friends in my time of need.

When you are depressed. For whatever it may be. Friends are the greatest they are needed. So I encourage everyone. Yes that means you. To stretch out a hand. Open up. Share your experiences. You never know who you will touch.

5.14.2011

SWAGBUCKS

If you are my facebook friend then you know how much I LOVE Swagbucks. It is the coolest site ever! It is a site where you can earn 'swagbucks' or virtual money to spend on many different things. My fave thing to get is Amazon gift cards. I have gotten 20 FREE $5 gift cards from this site. That is $100 in FREE money. Seriously try it!

To start earning:

Sign up using my referal link: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/npatt

Add their toolbar and start searching. You can randomly earn swagbucks. Friday they give out more swagbucks so search a ton on that day. Sometimes I will search for random things to try to earn them.

Take as many surveys as you can. After signing up there are a lot available to you to get started. If you just visit the survey page everyday you earn 1 swagbuck.

Participate in the Daily Poll. Every day for participating you get 1 swagbuck.

Do some of the special offers. I did the Disney Movie Club and got 1225 swagbucks. Enough to get almost 3 $5 Amazon gift cards. Check your Swagbucks inbox. (it is on the top of the home page). They will sometimes have special offers such as buying things from Groupon. It is not all the time but they disapear fast so check it frequently.

Watch Swagbucks TV. These are just short informational clips. For watching so many you can earn swagbucks. I will just have it playing in the background while I check facebook and email.

Use coupons- Coupons.com has paired up with them and you can print right from swagbucks. For every 1 you use you get 10 swagbucks. This is my favorite option!

All of these plus more ways are under the Earn tab at the tob of the Swagbucks home page.

Explore the site. That is how I learned and it was the best way.

Also promote, promote, promote. I get swagbucks for doing nothing. I get a certain amount from my referals and that is when I started to earn big. If you connect your swagbucks with facebook everytime you earn a swagbuck it will post on your facebook wall. And like some of you people join because they are curious.

This is kinda all over the place but I wanted to help all of you earn free stuff! Let me know if any of you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them!


http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/npatt

5.02.2011

Cruise...

I guess I was put in charge of planning a vacation for when my brother, Elder Whipple gets home. I am thinking a Disney cruise. Has anyone been on a cruise with children and can recommend one? I am hoping to find a cruise that would be good for adults and children. I have NEVER planned a vacation much less a cruise so I can use all the help I can get. So tips would be greatly appreciated!

4.27.2011

Contest

My favorite blog is doing a ton of contests for Mother's Day. You will want to head over and enter all of them. She is giving away a gift certificate for Hapari. I so hope I win something!

http://www.hapari.com/

http://freebies2deals.com

4.26.2011

Stumbling

I somehow stumbled upon this blog. I am so glad I did. I think everyone should read what this sweet girl has written. I hope she doesn't mind that I am sharing it with the world.

Check it out HERE

While you are at it check THIS out too

4.20.2011

I Am Thankful

I have come to realize: Sometimes our trials as hard as they are can be blessings. Through my trials I have met many wonderful people who have become my friends. Because I am open and honest with what I am going through I have found that I am not alone. I am so thankful for all my many friends that let me vent, complain and cry. Sometimes together. Thanks to those who have gotten me through this 14 months. You know who you are. Love you!

4.18.2011

It’s My Birthday?

I guess today is my birthday. I honestly kept forgetting that today was the day that I turned the big 2-4. Maybe cause I still have my calendar showing the month of March. I am really behind. I of course have nothing planned. I started taking progesterone again so that I could finally have another period. And so I can have a HSG done....I know so exciting. So of course I just had to start my period a few days before my birthday. I always have cramps. Really bad ones in fact. But I swear since I don't always have them (December was the last one) when I do have one it is TERRIBLE! Nothing will touch it. Luckily I have some pain killers from when I was in the hospital with a terrible stomach virus last year. Thank goodness. So today instead of enjoying some warm sunshine, going to lunch with my dearest, and eating lots of goodies I am using a lot of these…pills

While looking out the window at this…rain

And feeling like this….literally….cramps

Now I am just hoping that our overnight stay in Park City this week isn’t affected by all of this….I really don’t want to reschedule.

4.12.2011

A pet?

I have wanted a pet for awhile.

Our friends fish had babies.

Am I crazy to want a couple?

I think maybe.

So I am now searching for an aquarium.

A used one.

A small one.

If only the guy with the KSL ad would reply to me.

Is it a sign?

It could be my Birthday present.

Sounds good to me.



P.S.

Avon...

Going ok...

If only my mom would order every campaign

Then I would be good.

4.02.2011

Avon

Yes it is true...I am now selling Avon. It seems like it is going to be something that will be much easier to sell than what I was selling (trying to sell) in the past. I am still learning more on how to get my business started but in the meantime check out my direct website here. I am was totally surpised at all the cool things Avon is selling now and how inexpensive everything is. I LOVE the Mark line. Let me know if you have questions...Happy Shopping.
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